Surviving Your Family (Part 1)

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We are starting a new series today called Surviving Your Family. And we are going to be studying the life of Joseph for the next eight weeks, going through September and October. And I gotta tell you, every night, Amy and I, as we fall asleep, we pray together. And this is our prayer for our children, our adult children now, our married adult children. We pray obviously first and foremost for their relationship with the Lord, their relationship with each other, and their relationship with us.

That they would follow Jesus and make him the priority relationship in their life. That they would have a great relationship. Because nothing brings greater joy to a mom or dad than when brothers and sisters get along. And that they would bring joy to Amy and I. And as they honor us, as we are soon to be with the Lord, I remind them often, that's one way you can kind of get that in there.

But we pray this prayer, and some of you come from healthy, thriving families. Some might describe their family as dysfunctional. Either way, this series is for you. If you have siblings or children who hate you and want nothing to do with you, this series is for you. Please tune in and stick around.

If you are your parents favorite child or you live in bitterness because you are not, Joseph's story is gonna make a big difference in your life if you learn from it. If you blame your family for your poor decisions or the sin that you live in, study Joseph with us for the next few weeks. If a sibling or family member wronged you and you want to get even or settle the score, Joseph's story is for you. If you're holding a grudge against a family member. If you want to move on with your life after a traumatic family experience, I want to encourage you.

We're gonna talk about surviving your family in the weeks ahead. And today we're talking about playing favorites. We're gonna talk about parental favoritism and how it fuels sibling rivalry. That's next week's messages on sibling rivalry. We're gonna try to do this all in one message, but there's just too much to cover in Joseph's story.

And today specifically, we're gonna have to dig into his family of origin a little bit to see how this favoritism was fueled and how it turned into hatred and jealousy among the siblings. And here's where we're starting. When parents play favorites, children compete for love and attention. Some of you did that during Your childhood. Others of you just gave up and said, we know who the favorite is, and I'm not even gonna try.

What we're gonna see today in the life of Joseph and in his story, that favoritism fuels jealousy and hatred among his siblings. We're gonna see how it plays out in the rivalry next week. It's only gonna go so far this week, but then it escalates into next week. But here's what we're gonna get in the life of Joseph. Chuck Swindoll says it this way.

Regardless of how he was treated, in spite of unfair, erroneous accusations, even though he was rejected, abandoned, abused, maligned and forgotten, he refused to become resentful or bear a grudge or succumb to, to bitterness. In other words, it doesn't matter the family that you came from. You choose as an adult how you're going to walk in life. And you want to talk about a guy who had every right to be bitter and resentful, it's Joseph. But Joseph is a man of integrity and forgiveness.

When he's placed in the position of authority over his siblings and over his dad, he chooses forgiveness. We're gonna get to that weeks and weeks down the road. Today, we're gonna see where it all begins. So today as we talk about this and you're the child frustrated that there's a favorite in your family and it's not you. It's gonna be easy for you to be pointing the finger at your parent.

But don't forget Joseph's story, that you have to take personal responsibility for your heart and for your life, for the way you treat your family members, for the way you do relationships within the family, within the church, within your own family. Let's start with Genesis 37. 3. Joseph is 17 years old. That is a very important detail to keep in your mind as we go through today.

He's a 17 year old young man. Now, Israel, that's Jacob and Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Two chapters earlier, God changes his name to Israel. Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons. The next part tells us why.

Because he had been born to him in his old age. And now what did this do for the expression of it? He didn't just love him more, he showed it. And the big difference here, he made an ornate robe for for him. So as we dive into this today, I want you to know the life of Joseph takes up more space in Genesis than Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

And to better understand the favoritism showed toward Joseph, you have to look at his family of origin and how this sibling rivalry begins, and it's fueled by deception and passivity. But I want to give you a very important Bible study method as we go through Genesis for the next couple of months. And if you're brand new to studying the Bible, please, you have to understand this as a method of Bible study. And we simply call it descriptive versus prescriptive. We're gonna be reading a lot of descriptive details today.

A story is going to be told. We can learn lessons from it, we can be warned by it, but we're not being told. This, then, is how you should live. We're gonna draw application from it, obviously, but it's different than the commands of God, the precepts of the scripture, the passages where this is the will of Christ Jesus for your life. Do this.

That's prescriptive. So when you read that this man had multiple wives, that is descriptive. Okay, we're reading a story. It's not. Then that's how you should live.

God's plan for marriage is between a husband and a wife for a lifetime. That's prescriptive. Descriptive is the story that we're going to read today, and we're gonna learn from it. Because Bible characters, when we study Bible characters, right, it teaches us, it instructs us, and it warns us for how to live. And I have to go all the way back to Genesis 29 to start the conversation.

So stick with me on these details. It's very important to understand where we pick up in Genesis 37 to go back to see how Joseph even came to be. You have to go all the way back to the story of Laban and how he deceived the deceiver. Jacob's name actually means deceiver. And we read in Genesis 29, 16, 18.

Now, Laban had two daughters. The name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Descriptive. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said to Laban, I will work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter.

If you've studied the Bible and if you've read this story, we studied it a couple of summers ago, you know that Laban tricked Jacob on the day of his wedding. He gets married, thinking he's going to marry Rachel. And Jacob ended up marrying Leah, Rachel's older and less attractive sister. Laban gave Rachel to Jacob after the bridal week in exchange for another seven years of work. During this time, Leah gave birth to seven children.

Six sons and a daughter. That's an important detail when we look at the passivity of Jacob. In just a moment, four more sons were with his wives. Handmaidens. Again, descriptive.

But the deception, the favoritism and the jealousy are all part of Joseph's family of origin. So you see, the deception is where it begins. You see the favoritism start to play out in that Jacob had a favorite wife. So you can imagine what took place with the children who came from Leah and the children who came from Rachel. We see it play out just a few chapters later in Genesis 34.

We studied Genesis 34 last year when we looked at the tragic rape of Dinah. Dinah was the daughter of Leah. And what we see in all of Genesis 34 is that Jacob goes passive when he gets the news. He's more worried about his family's name and reputation. And it was his sons that came out of the field when they heard the news.

And they were the ones that put the deception in place with the people of Shechem. Wiped out the men. They got even, right? They settled the score to defend their sister. But here's what we read in Genesis 34.

Five, when Jacob heard that his daughter Dinah had been defiled, she had been raped. His sons were in the fields with his livestock. And here it is. So he did nothing until they came home. And you see his passivity all throughout Genesis 34.

Why is that important? He's treating with great disdain this passivity toward the daughter of Leah. Joseph is the son of Rachel in Genesis 35. I want to give you some of the nuance that you see, because sometimes when we talk about the. The favoritism of a parent or the passivity of a parent will go, well, they just don't know what's going on.

Well, you're gonna see throughout the story that Jacob is very aware of what's taking place among his children. The jealousy and the hatred. He knows what's taking place. Here's the more of Jacob's passivity. And again, just getting two examples today.

Genesis 35. Israel moved on again. This is Jacob, remember? Moved on again. And pitched his tent beyond Migdal and Eater.

While Israel was living in that region, Reuben, his oldest son, the son of Leah, went in and slept with his father's concubine, Billah. So an unspeakable act. And now watch how the scripture handles this. And Israel heard of it. And that's all we get in this text.

Jacob had 12 sons. I'm not. It just goes on to. Now the details in this story. You're gonna see this again.

And I want you to see the nuance in the passivity of Jacob, because we know as parents, parents set the pace in the home. Parents truly do set the temperature in the home and how siblings get along. This is important. As we talk about Jacob's passivity, Laban's deception, we have to talk family of origin. So here's just some key understanding of family of origin as we pick up Joseph's story.

And this is. Some of you are gonna say, amen. You did not choose your family, but this is your family. God brought you into this family, okay? But you are not responsible for your parents, emotions, decisions, and actions.

Some of you may try to take responsibility. And it's like, well, it's my family name. So now I have to go and correct and fix. You are not responsible. Your parents are 100% responsible for.

For what they think, what they feel, what they say, and how they act. You've had to make decisions now in your new family, in your immediate family, that maybe mom and dad didn't agree with. And you always honor them, and you try to honor them as you share that, but sometimes it's not received well. Listen, you are 0% responsible for the emotions of your parents and the way they act and the way they talk. Now, this is important.

Your family of origin influences you, but it does not define you. And that's what we're gonna see in Joseph's story. He responds with integrity and forgiveness. When a man had every opportunity and every reason to be bitter and resentful for the way his family treated him, he could get even and settle the score. And we're gonna see in October.

When he got that opportunity, he didn't take it and did just the opposite. He showed forgiveness and he provided. Your family does influence you, though. I mean, it does. Yeah.

The message is written on the heart. Your family of origin explains a lot, but it excuses nothing. Go to a counselor. Do therapy. But if that counselor ever wants to excuse the sin that you're living in because of what mom and dad said or did, find a new counselor.

They can explain it. They can show you why it's happening. But if they're not teaching you to take 100% personal responsibility for your life and for your heart, for your emotions, your actions, your words, it's just not healthy. But let me tell you, your family influences you. Your family determines.

I'm telling you, the way you worship, the way you spend money, save money, the way you talk about money, the way you drive the names you call people in traffic, you pick that up from your parents. Cause what do we say around here when we do family baby dedication? We say, our children see everything, they hear everything, they forget nothing. And then they repeat, that's family of origin. Your children have thousands and thousands of hours a year.

They're watching you and they're listening to you. And it's writing messages on their hearts about voting, about driving, about spending, about saving, about how you celebrate the holidays. All messages written on the heart, how you load the dishwasher, you got that from your family. If you put the toilet paper this way or that way, you got that from your parents. But now you're an adult and you have to take responsibility and choose your own way.

Knowing your family influences you. And you've had these moments where you've gone to your in laws house and you're like, huh? That's why. That's why he says that. That's why he does that.

That's the influence of the family of origin. It explains a lot, but it excuses absolutely Nothing. You are 0% responsible for your family of origin, but you are 100% responsible for your decisions and how you treat your family. I saw Dave Ramsey interviewed this week, and I just, I love what he said. And you have to read underneath the surface of it.

But he was giving a friend of his a tour through Ramsey Solutions, and they have like over 700 employees. And at the end of the tour, his buddy looked at Dave and said, why is everybody here happy? And Dave said, because we got rid of all the people who aren't now. I absolutely love that. But you gotta go underneath the surface of that to understand what he was saying.

He's saying my job as an employer is I'm responsible for how I treat people. What I say, what I do. I am zero percent responsible for managing your emotions. You have to take responsibility for that. So I wanna go for all my King James friends in here.

Cause you're waiting to hear the line. You did not like how the other translation interpreted Genesis 37:3. We have to see this before we talk more about favoritism. He made him a coat of many colors. That's the King James version.

Now some of you are like, well, what a gift. And it just showed he loved him and he was showing that. But let me tell you what, it also communicated privilege. Because the language that we get about this, this would have been a tunic that went to the wrist and to the ankles, which meant this is not a working man's tunic. In other Words, when I had this on, it means, I ain't going out into the fields.

My peasant brothers, you go out and work the fields. So imagine what it communicated as he walked around with this coat of many colors. It's not just that his father loved him more, his father showed it. And this is important because some of you believe there's favoritism in your home. And it wasn't favoritism, but it was perceived favoritism.

In the text we're in today, it's not perceived favoritism. It is favoritism. He is showing it. And so this week I sat out in the, I grabbed a notepad and I went out into the office and I gathered some staff around and I said, hey, just give me some of the reasons or some of the ways favoritism has played out in your home. And I started writing, flipping over writing.

I finally had to go, okay, that's plenty, I got plenty. I went back and I started categorizing it. And it was not just the homes they grew up in, but the homes with the children they're raising now. And here were some of the reasons I was given birth order. Now we see that in the story of Jacob and Joseph.

Joseph is born later in life to Jacob. And some of you, this is true in your family. I have friends that they have teenagers and then they had a child late in life and the teenagers are always looking at the three and the four year old going, this child gets away with murder. I love it. The teenagers will look at mom and dad and be like, are you gonna discipline this child?

So if you're an older sibling or maybe your firstborn, you would think that the younger one got. And sometimes firstborn gets the favoritism, but sometimes it's last born. I just wanna remind you that if your parents had you 15 years prior to your sibling, right. Your parents are different people. They lack what we call energy.

Right. They don't have the motivation. And so you're sitting there going, and you've seen you were the test baby, you were the one we tried things out on. But it doesn't mean we love this one more than you. We are different people 15 years later.

But birth order's a real one. Giftedness. You might begin to think God did something extra special with this child. So we need to give this child extra special opportunities. And the child may get more of the resources and the time and the energy and the travel that comes with whatever their opportunity, wherever it's taking them.

Personality, just one that maybe you click with More, you get along with more. And that can be real favoritism. But I want to keep in mind it can also be perceived favoritism. Another one. Achievement.

Achievement. I'm very grateful I didn't grow up in a home with parents who showed favoritism. My parents never expected me to be the athlete that my brother was or the craftsman that my brother was. They realized early on that wasn't me, wasn't coordinated or skilled to do all of that. And they realized early on God gave me a mouth.

My brother didn't get the mouth, but I got the mouth. So I'm the preacher. He was the athlete, he was the craftsman. But we. And I'll come back to this in the application at the end, but I thought this one was very interesting.

Fear. Sometimes a parent can spend more time and show favoritism with the child that they fear. When they leave home, they're gone. And there's not gonna be any more ties there or the child's left and maybe has become a prodigal. So that child's getting more attention.

And the last one is behavior. Chuck Swindoll says this, and I love it. Passive fathers tend to favor the child who is easiest to raise. And this is important. If you think there's favoritism in your home or was in your home growing up, or perceived favoritism, be honest.

Can you admit you were the most difficult child? Can you admit that? Because the rules may all be the same, but one child is more compliant than the other. And so it looks like I'm always coming down on this. Well, this is the child that's always breaking the rules.

To put that on mom and dad, you're going. But we tried the best. And there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Take that pledge every day. I am not the perfect parent.

We have the perfect parent, but I'm not the perfect parent. But I want the rules to apply across the board. But you have some children that are more compliant than others. So that can be real favoritism or perceived favoritism. But the bottom line is this.

Parents set the pace for how their children treat each other. Not just in the home, but now I have adult children outside of the home, married. And I still. I don't have control like I had when they were small and I could lock them in their rooms. But now I have influence.

And I'm trying to figure out, what does that look like, Lord, how do I steward that influence? Well. Cause we just. We covered a lot of his family of origin. We gotta get back to Genesis 37.

We saw that Jacob loved Joseph more, gave him the gift. This started to create jealousy in the home. And that's verse four that we move to. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them. So again, this was displayed in the home.

They saw it. They saw it played out. And that coat of many colors is one example of it. We see two outcomes. They hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.

And I wanna say for a lot of families in here today and across campus today and online today, this is where the hatred toward a sibling has escalated to and stopped like played out in your family. It's only gone as far as that. When you're together at family gatherings, you still gather even as a family. But there's never a kind word spoken or there's gossip with your parents about this sibling or you're always against this person. So that's where it stops for most families that we work with at our church.

But next week we're gonna continue in this story and see that is not where it stopped with Joseph. They couldn't speak a kind word to him because they hated him. But it escalated to plotting murder. They wanted him dead. Reuben steps in and we're gonna see that escalation next week.

So this is where it ends in a lot of families and stalls out for a lot of families. I hope. If that's your family and you can't speak a kind word of a sibling, I'm praying for healing for you and your family right now. I ask that this series and God's word ministers to you deeply in this season. In other families it escalates.

But again, I wanna give this disclaimer before we move on to the practical application. You may be thinking that this message today, the introduction to this series is about your parents and get em Ted, just get after them. To love all of us the same and show us that love the same. But remember, we are studying the life of Joseph and he took personal responsibility for his life and did the right thing and didn't blame his family. So let me go to verse 5, verses 5 through 11.

And this is gonna foreshadow. We wanna establish this before we get to sibling rivalry next week. And this is gonna foreshadow in Joseph's story what takes place at the end of his story and at the end of our series In October, verse 5, Joseph had a dream and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. So Joseph doesn't help himself in communicating the dream. But I wanna remind you, he's 17.

He's 17 years old. They hated him all the more because here's what he said he said to them, Listen to this dream I had. We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field, when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright. While your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it. How do you think this was doing?

For the jealousy and hatred in the home? His brother said to him, do you intend to reign over us? Hold this story to you? Gotta hold it for a month and a half before we get to it. Will you actually rule us?

And they hated him all the more. There it is again. Because of his dream and what he had said. So, boy, it should end there. Then he said, I had another dream.

He told it to his brothers. Listen, he said, I had another dream. And this time the sun and the moon and 11 stars were bowing down to me. When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, what is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?

And verse 11, after he shares the dreams, is the little detail I want you to hold onto because we just read it in the family of origin details. Verse 11 says, his brothers were jealous. We're gonna see the hatred and the jealousy play out in Sibling Rivalry next week. But look what it says again. But his father kept the matter in mind.

That is important for us to be reminded. You can't look around and go, well, maybe he just didn't know really what was going on with the brothers. No, he knew. He was aware and passivity. A passive parent knows what's going on and they choose to do nothing.

It's one thing to be an unaware parent and not know what's going on, but it's another to be a passive parent and make the choice to do nothing. And I'm going to say this to dad, since we're talking about Jacob. When dad goes passive, the home goes dead. Dad, we have to stay engaged in the home. We have to continue to fight for the hearts of our children.

So what I want to do in the few minutes that we have left is just give some practical application. How do we take this story? Because you're probably not giving a coat of many colors to your favorite child, but there are ways it plays out in our home. And I want to give these to you real quick. No more playing favorites is what I call it.

Number one, avoid comparing your children. This is Obvious, but don't say things like, why can't you be more like your brother? Why can't you be more like your sister? And I'm grateful that I didn't have parents like that, but, boy, I had teachers like that. I had coaches like that.

And I was about four years behind my brother and followed him up through school. And. And I remember going to wood shop and the wood shop teacher being so disappointed in me. My brother was making dining room tables and curio cabinets, and I was cutting out spoons. I remember I made a cutting board.

That was. It was a lot. It took me a semester to make this cutting board. In the time I. And I can just remember Mr. Groth at Oswego High just being like, oh.

And then I'd complain about sanding, and I'd hear him yell, keep sanding, Cunningham. And I'd still got a little trauma over. So I know other people compared me grateful for parents who didn't. Number two, be consistent with the rules. Many of you grew up in the 80s where dad would say he couldn't figure out who did what, and so he just spank all of you.

I remember several times telling my dad I had nothing to do with this. He's like, I'm just gonna do one, get one in the bank for I know you're gonna misbehave at some point, and we'll count this for that.

Prioritize character over achievement. This is a big one. Celebrate what God's developing in their character more than what they accomplish. I remember going to my kids, kindergarten, first, second grade class, parent teacher conferences, and it's when the school switched over to mastered or progressing each subject. You were mastered or progressing.

And I may be old school, but I still like A, B, C, D, F. You failed, right? Cause this is. I'm so. Get off my lung. I gotta really guard my heart with this.

But what do we learn from scripture? You learn the most from your failings, right? You learn what you're good at and what you're not good at. And I listened, and the teacher was joking with me like, ted, just settle down. Let's just go with the grading system.

We got out in the car, Corinne and Carson were in the back, and they were small. And I go, listen, I just want to remind you, as your dad, I don't want you to be awesome at everything. I go, you can't be. I don't even want you to try to be awesome at everything. My job is, you're created in Christ Jesus to do good works.

I wanna find out what those are, walk alongside you with those, and then fuel that. But you don't need to master every subject in school. You have to. And this is the key. You have to study because that's character.

But you're looking at a guy who failed math. This is why I don't count offerings, okay? I don't do the budget. At our church, we'd be broke. But I was raised by two engineer parents, so you can imagine me bringing failing grades home in math.

But mom and dad going, we're just gonna really lean into this mouth aspect of your personality and see what God does with that. But I remember telling that to my kids. You're not gonna be awesome at everything. My firstborn daughter, she's back there going, daddy, no. No.

Cause she was type A driven. I gotta get an A or mastered in everything. I go, nope, no, you don't. Now, if you don't study and fail, we got a character problem. If you study and don't do great, we got a competency problem.

And mom and dad, there's a big difference between character and competency. And I can remember then looking at my son, Carson, are you okay with this? I'm great, Dad. I love where we're going with this in the family. I don't have to be awesome at everything.

Spend quality and quantity time with each child. Years ago, I think it was folks on the family, there were some speakers that would come on and they would. You know, it became kind of a cliche statement in marriage and family ministry that, you know, quality time is more important than quantity time. And we'd be like, whoa, no, it's not. They're both so important, right?

Cause why, mom and dad, your children, have thousands and thousands of hours a year, front row seat to your marriage, to your family, to the way you live life, right? You have to spend quantity time. And that means you may really like this child's activity. Hobby, sport, and you love sitting in the stands watching baseball, but maybe recitals ain't your thing. We show as much passion and enthusiasm as we head to each, right?

I remember when Carson went through his roller coaster phase. I've hated roller coasters my whole life. Biggest mistake I ever made was taking them when we were in Florida one time to Busch Gardens and I got the Express Pass and the park was empty. And we were able to do like six to eight roller coasters an hour. It was the most miserable day of my life.

I was texting pictures to Amy of my color, leaving my face big dark circles under my eyes. I was throwing up. I was sick. She's like, you. And I thought, Amy's like, just take it easy.

No, stay in there. Right? You got this. And, like, we're cheering each other on. So I'm not gonna be into every hobby.

I'm not gonna be into every sport. I'm not gonna be into it. But I'm into it because I'm into my kids. So number six and seven, this one, Let me just say this. You may have a child right now that does not embrace your values, your faith in life.

They don't walk with the Lord. You may call them a prodigal. You may have one child that follows the Lord and one that does not. Can I just give. You just have worked with so many people in our church on this.

Number six, don't use your will or trust to settle the score. I've walked through this with so many families. I'm not a lawyer, so I'm not up here talking today about wills and trusts. And I'm not talking about, your firstborn can't be the executor because they're not responsible. You know, that's not what I'm talking about.

Or they don't have the ability to do that. I'm not talking about. You have one child who's an addict, so leaving them a lump sum of money would not be good for them. You know, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a child who has maybe separated from you and only calls occasionally.

And you're like, well, in this moment. And you're constantly. I've seen this play out in families that I'm close to. Like, something happens in the family in the first call. We're going to the lawyer.

We're gonna get this. Let's not use that. Let's not make our last moment on this earth. A get even settled the score moment.

Number seven, don't use every family gathering as an opportunity to express your disappointment. I still. Jim Burns has the best book on doing life with your adult children. And the subtitle is the best. If you want a great relationship with your adult children, whether they follow the Lord or not, keep your mouth shut and the welcome mat out.

And as a parent of influence, there are moments my kids ask me my opinion on something, and I'm ready, and I'm gonna give them that opinion on that subject. And the 22 I've been holding back. These are the ones you haven't asked me about. But I'd like to Throw them in on this one while we're at it. I don't need every family gathering to be a teachable moment.

I don't have to express disappointment if they make decisions that I don't like.

And, you know, there's a pastor I quote at this church a lot. Some of you will figure this out, but I'm not going to share his name, his love for the Lord, his preaching, the glory of Christ, and our lives to bring glory to him just oozes out of him. He has several children, but the two that play out online the most. He has one son who's a pastor and one son who has completely and totally denounced the faith. And not only denounced the faith, he's online.

His social media content is just all vulgar. He's very bright, he's very smart. His content is vulgar as he tears down everything his father raised him to believe. And a lot of us watch this play out online. And I go, man, I just cannot imagine one of my kids coming at me online and denouncing the name of Jesus and tearing down Christ.

And the church couldn't imagine it. But let me tell you the picture that gutted me a couple of years ago. They were camping or fishing or maybe both. But here was this pastor with all of his boys, one under each arm. One was the pastor, and one was the very biblical definition of a fool who's not bringing joy to mom and dad.

And I'm sitting there going, that's a dad right there. That's a dad who loves his kids. That's a dad who obviously it'd be easy to favor and probably have easier conversations with the pastor, son. But guess what? When we do activities, when we go fishing, when we go camping, we're family.

I didn't share names, and I'm not show them pictures. That's not the point of this. The point of this is that you and I, I know you love your kids. And I know some of your kids have caused you a lot of pain. Some of you, your parents have caused you a lot of pain.

Joseph's story is gonna bring so much encouragement to you. Cause you get to choose. You get to make decisions how you're gonna live your life and how you're gonna treat people. Some of you, I pray at the end of this series, become a leader in your family. Like you're the one that shows up and that not a kind word spoken to each other that Joseph's siblings had toward him.

That's not true of you, that when you are cursed, you bless when you are cursed, you pray for them. Your desire is to be a man, to be a woman of integrity and forgiveness. Could you pray with me, Father? I pray for the parents that are hurting across campus. I know the stories.

I work with them, trying to encourage them and to pastor them in their walk with you and in the walk with their children. I pray a blessing over siblings right now as we move next week into sibling rivalry. They've just had that one sibling they've never been able to get along with. That sibling treats them terribly, speaks of them not just unkindly, but with hatred and with jealousy in their hearts. I pray that freedom falls across this campus and falls across families as a result of all that we learned from your word through this series.

For the one who's never placed faith in Jesus, wondering how do I walk with integrity and forgiveness with such a messed up family that today would be the day of their salvation, that they've never placed faith in Jesus, they've never been born again, that today they would repent of their sins, confess with their mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in their heart he's been raised from the dead, that they would be saved. We pray all this in the authority of the name of Jesus. Everyone agreed and said amen.